One of the marks of the natural man, that is the man without the Holy Spirit, is his inability to restrain himself from sin. His emotions, desires, and impulses¹ are a bull let out of the chute which he cannot hang on but for mere seconds before being bucked off. For the natural man, the bull dominates when that gate opens and he finds himself thrown to the ground covered in dirt.

In contrast, one of the marks of the spiritual man, that is the man with the Holy Spirit, is his ability to restrain his emotions, desires, and impulses in regard to sin. He has been given a grace of God to reign the flesh back in and make it submit. He has the ability to ride the bull when the chute opens, rope the bull, and hog tie it in its place.

That sounds awesome and empowering! But why do I still struggle to be the spiritual man who restrains the flesh? Here are a few thoughts to empower the grace of self-control in Christians.

The Ability is there

Self-control begins in the mind. You must realize and believe that in Christ you are dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus (Rom. 6:11–14). You must grasp that in union with Christ He has crucified your sinful nature and its desires (Gal. 5:24). As a Christian, you had a major spiritual operation, one that has changed your abilities. And this operation has rendered things in you inoperative as well as awakened and strengthened others.

Now the Spirit of God dwells in you and empowers you with the ability to reign in the flesh. Your tongue would lash out in response to others; it would release the bull out of its chute, but the Holy Spirit has given you a shock collar remote that, with one press of the button, brings the bull down. Your attitude is ready to grumble at your circumstances, but the Holy Spirit restrains that and empowers a new and better response of thankfulness.

Your inability to handle things has been replaced with supernatural ability by God. And so we must exercise it. The ability is there—push the button! Exercise what the Spirit has given you and is working inside of you. Choose the Spirit lead power; it’s yours. In Christ, you can and you must learn to do it. You can walk away. You can say no to sin and yes to something godly. You can stop in the middle, repent, and walk in the Spirit. Not because of anything in you, but because of Christ in you (Gal. 2:20). Paul says it this way (Rom. 6:13), “Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.”

Every Victory Counts

This God given ability is like a muscle. It is meant to be exercised and every time you do it becomes stronger for the next use. The more you say no to the flesh, the better you will get at it and the easier it becomes. The more you say yes to the Spirit, the better you feel, and the more wonderful it becomes.

It is similar to eating well. You know you need to say no to certain foods and it is difficult at first. But the more you say no and replace the unhealthy food with good food, the better you feel and the less you even desire the old food.

In exercising self-control you won’t be perfect. You will make mistakes and you will feel frustration. But remember that you stand in the grace of Jesus and that every victory matters. They add up, producing strength, love, and good desire for the things of God. Don’t dwell on your failures; add up the victories and praise God for them all.

Learning not to Open the Gate

The best way to deal with the impulse bull is to never open the chute in the first place. Inside the gate, the bull is restrained already and cannot go anywhere. The temptation is to let him out when someone hurts you or wrongs you. He may start snorting and bucking against the gate. But letting the bull out doesn’t make anything better. You may feel better for a moment, but then you feel worse afterwards as you see the aftermath that the bull caused. The bull may be losing it inside the chute, but he will eventually calm down.

So learn not to open the gate in the first place. Rather, open the floodgates of the Holy Spirit. While the bull is tempting to release; it is the dove that makes the situation better.