God has given males the gift of masculinity. This gift belongs to the male sex and designates appropriate qualities unique to him. With such national confusion about gender, it is vital we help identify and foster these masculine qualities in our young boys as well as demonstrate them as men.

George Alan Rekers, in his chapter entitled, “Psychological Foundations for Rearing Masculine Boys and Feminine Girls,” teaches that true masculinity demonstrates responsibility in the interconnecting spheres of God’s biological, psychological, social, and spiritual design. Rekers framework is helpful for thinking through masculinity and fostering it in our boys.

Biological Masculinity

Males undoubtedly have been given a unique biology. This is clearly discernable in their cells (chromosomes), hormones (testosterone), and anatomy (reproductive capabilities).

Concerning male reproductive anatomy, God designed it to be expressed in the confines of marriage with one female. Overstepping reproductive design is not true masculinity. To engage in premarital promiscuity is counterfeit masculinity and to engage in homosexuality is perverted masculinity (Lev. 18:22; 1 Cor. 6:9). Rekers states, “Premarital and extramarital sexual intimacies are decidedly unmasculine and undermine the development of a confident and secure male identity. Similarly, boys should be taught that sexual relations with other males are not only wrong but also a symptom as well as a cause of a confused sexual identity.”

Males have also been given the unique biological trait of strength (1 Peter 3:7). Using their strength to protect, serve, and provide is truly masculine. Conversely, macho demonstrations of strength or cowardly reservations are not worthy of the biological masculinity gifted to males.

Let us teach our boys as well as model to them that true masculinity expresses its anatomy faithfully in covenant marriage and its physical strength for the good of others.

Psychological Masculinity

From the very beginning God has made humans either male or female (Gen. 1:27). Males ought to mentally realize they are different from females. They possess a different reproductive anatomy as well as different chromosomes. Females possess XX chromosomes and males XY. Psychologically they can rest assured that God has made them male and that is not a mistake nor something they can change. It is a good gift to be received and found at the deepest cellular level.

Let us affirm the unique gift of masculinity by using proper male pronouns when referring to boys and men. These help solidify the psychological male identity.

Social Masculinity

Males have been given a unique social responsibility. They are to appear distinct from females in their dress. Deuteronomy 22:5 says, “A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment, for all who do so are an abomination to the LORD your God.” God commands that men and women in Israel do not cross dress so as to be like the opposite sex. The sexes were to remain distinct within Israel. To blur the sexes was considered an abomination by the Lord.

Furthermore, males are to be active fathers to their offspring. Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” True masculinity takes care of its own and seeks to train them up in the Lord rather than be too hard or even absent. Moreover, true masculinity is faithful to one’s wife. He loves her sacrificially, provides for her, cares for her, and builds her up (Eph. 5:25–28).

Whatever culture males find themselves in, their dress ought never to confuse them as a female. And their role within the family must be active love and care for their wife and children.

Biblical Masculinity

As David faced death, he charged his son Solomon to “be strong, [and] act like a man…” (1 Kings 2:1–2). What does it look like to act like a man? David continues by telling him to observe Yahweh’s requirements, to walk in obedience to Him and to what He has spoken (1 Kings 2:3). True masculinity walks with the Lord and obeys Him first and foremost.

Biblical masculinity has a moral compass designed by God and that begins with the fear of Him (Prov. 1:7). Additionally, it does not use crass language, lewd jokes (Eph. 5:4), or harass women.

Let us teach our boys to worship and serve God alone through Jesus Christ our Lord. The manliest thing a male will ever do is walk with Jesus Christ and serve Him.

True Masculinity

True masculinity is a gift from God that encompasses all spheres of life. It begins with the worship of the true God through Jesus Christ and further expresses itself in biological obedience, psychological reality, and social responsibilities to one’s family and community.